Sunday, 1/19/14
Prologue
I
decided to venture out to explore the Ventura area. It’s one way to get out and shake off the cabin fever of
staying in my daughter’s house all day.
But, the main purpose is to maintain respectfully a mutual buffer zone
among three of us – my daughter, son-in-law and me.
A
call in October – one month after the baby was born- came to ask me to become
the primary care taker of my grandson.
Uprooted from Maryland of 35 years, I am committed to enter a new era of
living with my daughter and her husband, a 3rd generation of German
and Irish, her UC Berkley’s MBA classmate.
Of
course, there are many issues of grand parenting and parenting need to be
addressed. But, so far, three seasoned
professionals with different management approaches, one old grandmother
recently retired from her successful job at Montgomery County Government, and
two experienced managers from big corporations of Amgen and Patagonia, agreed
firmly that we could patch up our differences and learn to live under the same
roof. The main goal is for the
benefit of baby Forest, their son and my grandson.
So,
the unwritten document of my grandmother role for the entire 2014 is:
1. Monday
– Friday from the moment they both leave for work and the time they come home,
I have the sole right to offer my grand parenting care – We come to the
agreement that there should not be any bickering about “Mom, a lot of your
parenting stuff is 35 years of old-wife-tale,” and “We will avoid too many
cooks in the kitchen problem.”
2. No
night shift – They are responsible ranging from bathing to putting the baby to
sleep.
3. No
weekend shift – I was AWARDED, so to speak that I am allowed to have my own
personal time off and space to do anything I want. “Mom, we decided to give you time off today, the car key is
on the desk, we are going to shop for the baby stuff for Thanksgiving Oregon
trip to grandma’s first visit,” uttered by my daughter at one of the Saturdays
during my first visit in October.
Ugh, I was terribly hurt emotionally then and ended up driving the first
time ever in the unfamiliar California Highway 101 to have the soul-searching
consultation with Joyce who lives 20 miles away in Newbury Park, south of
Ventura. Joyce, thank you for comforting me, even though we ended up crying
together in that lonely Chinese restaurant with no other customers but the
manager and us.
4. Cooking
and grocery shopping - not enforced - both are environmentally conscientious nuts
with 100% organic stuff ranging from food, household items to clothing and
diapers – I refrained my own opinions here.
5. Discipline
and bilingual language introduction – I was given the assignment to start
Chinese/Taiwanese to their baby from now on. – doable, but, no promise.
So,
I decided to document my weekend sojourn in California to see how many places I
will be visiting and witnessing as a new grandmother, and a recent retiree in
2014. Some of the visions of
America at this point of time may be based on my 40 years’ observation, biased
or subjective is truly personal as a Chinese American uprooted from her home
country – Taiwan of 22 years to America as a student, wife, mother, career
woman and grandmother.
The
questions of “What are Americans like today?” “What am I in this 75%
Hispanic/Latino and 25% White population Southern California region?” I may
need you, as a reader, a teacher or a classmate, to offer me some good advices
to continue my journey here.
I
know Pearl, a successful teacher, mother and grandmother herself, gave me some
of her tipping points about grand parenting when we, Hsia-Hwei, Shinyee, and
Jia-Her were treated as honored guests in her beach villa at Sun-Zhi in
November 2013. However, I can guarantee
that it will not work for my daughter and son-in-law in this situation. So, we can use e-mail to start our grand
parenting dialogues and support group as we journeying in our second stage of our
lives. I would really appreciate
it.
Field Trip #1 – Highway 126 VISTA – City of Ventura, Santa Paula and
Fillmore
California
is distinctively a geographic identity of its own. It’s totally different from Maryland in terms of vegetation
and landscapes. The song “America is beautiful” that I used to sing with my
children – “O beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for
purple mountain majesties. Above the fruited plain! America! America! ……From sea
to shining sea…’ I can’t remember the rest of the lyrics anymore; covers pretty
much California’s unique aspects that make this land beautiful.
The
only trouble is the barren mountains are bare-topped without snow covered or
any vegetation grown now. This
year’s strong Polar Vortex caused the extreme cold temperatures in the east
coast regions and severe drought in California that Governor Jerry Brown, last week, declared
a statewide ‘drought emergency’ to ask Californians to reduce their water
consumptions by 20%.
While
I was wearing short sleeves and Crocs under the umbrella of blue sunny sky in
the backyard, 80 degree, looking out the well-being of my husband left alone in
Maryland to run his after retirement company JuneLab, he complained that he
just came back from tennis match playing in the icy-spot outdoor tennis
court. That being said, I am not
surprised about my own stubborn husband for not listening to anyone, including
the doctor’s advice that he should not play if the temperature is lower than 40
degree. Oh, well, that’s another
chapter of my web blog to share with, my workaholic husband who does not know how
to turn off his professional life.
9:05
am, I packed my map, camera, writing pad, water bottle and a few fruits snacks,
off I went to the bus stop across my daughter’s community, Pacific View Mall
Bus Transfer Center. I boarded Ventura
County Transportation Bus Services – VISTA, an inter-city bus service provides
connections between the City of Ventura County and neighboring Santa Barbara
and Los Angeles Counties.
Riders
are from different walks of life, and ethnic diverse people of Latino, and
white, old and young. Of course,
the majorities of them are the family crowd with children who speak perfect
English but the parents don’t. I
saw one homeless, white guy about 60 year old, digging through the trashcan,
hoping to find someone’s leftover food.
Yes, he was lucky to get a half open Frito Lay chips.
I
kept my mind open always, because I am the new Californian from Maryland, I do
not know anyone here. Today’s bus
ride should be an interesting experience no matter what happens. It turned out to be my Medicare card I recently
applied after my retirement on 1/1/14 allowed me to have the discounted fare of
$.60 as the senior citizen, even though I won’t be 65 until next month. Am I supposed to be proud or sad that I
am the one who is taking the advantage of social benefits of America, which I
do not need? Anyhow, the bus
driver, a middle-aged man of white and Hispanic mixture was rather friendly to
me when I told him where I would like to get off – Fillmore Senior Center. That’s a good start for my first lone
one-woman field trip in California.
I
glanced through all the passengers on and off the bus with 95% of them Hispanic
origins. I was the only Asian
American and a couple of whites occupied the half emptied bus. This was a spacious 56 seats coach
liner, featured with TVs above every 5 rows with air-condition temperature
controlled and curtain windows. I
remembered this was the luxurious bus, which we, Greater Washington Taiwanese
American Chorus members took to Lincoln Center, New York in 2010 for our once-in-a lifetime
grand concert. Wow, now, I did
feel like an elementary school student having the exciting educational field
trip to somewhere I have never been. The only
difference is I am entering the sunset years of my life now, with the peace of
my mind, I am completely worry-free, even that homeless man at the bus transfer
center didn’t bother me at all.
Actually we did strike the conversation about where to get my bus ticket
when he nicely told me ”there’s a slot next to the bus driver, but you need the
exact change though.”
Highway
126 VISTA bus route runs between Ventura Pier, and Fillmore Senior Center,
passing through the town – Santa Paula.
It is from the world-known best surf spots and miles and miles of sea
view to the rolling hills and rugged mountain peak. There is nothing to see but
orange, lemon, olive, berries, cactus, palm trees groves. My daughter and son-in-law suggested
otherwise when I mentioned about my outings in the morning. “Mom, why don’t you drive the
Highway 1 along the beautiful coast view or Santa Barbara instead?” My state of mind during this stage of
my life, the hustle and bustle of city life is the last thing I would like to
face. All I want is to escape the
madding crowd as far as possible.
Santa
Paula actually was considered the pre Hollywood film capital in the early
1900’s when I was reading the map.
No wonder, I saw the billboards popping up with Western Railroad Company
announcement about the up-coming events – Murder Mystery Express, Heritage
Valley Tour, Weekend Scenic Excursion etc.
Well, I was ready to shoot some pictures
with my camera, and then I realized that the camera was totally dead after my
daughter and I kept shooting video of baby Forest. I did not charge my camera! Darn it!
Epilogue
Friends,
please stretch your imagination as far as you will go, to picture all these
places where I used my $.60 Medicare Card bus fare, in a comfortable coach bus,
for a round trip from Ventura Pier to Santa Paula and Fillmore Senior Center
where I would want to go and I actually did not even get off. Why? Because it is truly nothing to see and I did not take any
picture at all.
So
the natural beauties that America has been lavished with and referred to
throughout the whole song of “America is Beautiful” are truly up to the state
of your mind.
Let me know what you think? The end!
p.s. I will remember to charge my camera
before I have my Field Trip #2
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