Retiring in Maryland
Finally - A Tranquil Life
Life is a passing phase. I thought I was capable of holding on the phase
of being a loving grandmother, a full-time super Nanny of my grandson, Forest
for at least a year. I found out that it’s simply not possible! My
back – lumbar 4 would not hold up. It gave out on me at the end of April.
A little more than six months in southern California – Ventura, I never thought
I would be raising a kid at my age. All of that was supposed to be behind
me. My work was always the center of my life for the past 38 years
in America. I left behind dreams of leisurely living after the
announcement of my formal retirement on January 1, 2014. I regret not
taking “grand parenting class 101” before my California adventure. The
basic issue of maintaining my own health and well-being physically and
emotionally did not meet the challenges and demands of parenting.
Finally, I am back home in Maryland. The overwhelmed feelings of stress,
worry, anger, resentment, guilt, and grief and mourning for my daughter’s
mother-in-law, grandson Forest’s grandmother passing away on May 19, 2014 were
all buried in the past.
One day this week, I looked out the kitchen window when I was on the
computer. The deer with short antlers came by in the backyard enjoying
the free feed from the mulberry tree. He is part of our Chang family
member now. I thought there used to be three – Ma, Pa, and the little one
in our backyard. Where are they now? It’s been only six months
since I was away. I planted a mulberry tree about 20 years ago.
It’s only ½ foot tall then. It’s so tall now that a 30 feet ladder
has no use for getting the fruits.
There was one thing I found out I missed dearly - that was the chirping garden
songbirds eating the cherries. I remember Eric, my son used to complain
in his bedroom, “those darn noisy birds woke me up 5:00 O’clock in the
morning!” Now, he is also away from his old house where he was
born! His room was now uninhabited and converted to Forest’s nursery when
he spent four days with us visiting in June. He said jokingly and fondly
to him, "you little rascal, you took over my room!" Am I longing
to hear his booming voices echo through the house? Yes or No.
What a tranquil scene of my home. I could easily collect about two pints
of mulberries each day this week picking them up from the ground. Those
red tart cherries are not Bing cherries you see from the supermarkets.
They are for pie baking or jam and jelly. I used the ladder, fighting
with gnats biting me crazy, picked up some to share with old friends,
neighbors, and choir members. My walking partners had a little fun with
my summer fruits as well. One of them, a good cook, will show me how to
make cherry and mulberry jams next year for Forest, my grandson.
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