It’s Chinese New Year today! I normally use ‘Spring Festival’ – the arrival of spring
according to Chinese lunar calendar - to teach my children and Gaithersburg
Chinese School students back when they were the most formative and easily
influenced years. But, are they
proud to be the ‘Asian Americans’ by birth from Chinese parents – based on the
U.S. Census Bureau ethnic group, to appreciate the cultural values given to
them? I am not sure, because I
can’t answer for them.
They
are labeled as ‘honorary whites’, by other whites because the marriage to
Caucasian whites by their own.
And, sometimes, as ‘banana’
by other Asians mockingly. I
just know they are my children and Chinese School students branded with a
strange new status, which is different from mine.
Living
in Ventura for the past three weeks, I cuddled with my grand baby like you have
seen in the Discovery Channel, the baby cub snuggling in the mother bear’s arm
– grandmotherly love.
I
have never encountered anyone like my yellow face ever since I got here on
1/10/2014. This town is
predominantly a white, Latino/white mixed community. But, the memory of my son, Eric, joyfully covered his ears
from the cracking sound of paper fire-crackers at DC annual Chinese New Year school
parade lingered in my mind, when Shousun, Lydia, friends and relatives back in
Taiwan, friendly reminded me of the approaching Chinese New Year - from the
YouTube of all traditional films of how we spent our Holiday.
The
scene with three generations together, as father, an old barber whom we knew to
cut our hair one-inch higher than our ear-lope, otherwise; we would be summoned
by that fierce-looking Jiou-Guan (school official) - to be humiliated in front
of all classmates in the morning assembly – was the central protagonist. He had cut his son’s hair since he was
young, then his grandson’s as the man moved on and became a father
himself. The picture of how the
grandson, squinted his eyes on the side way while he was being groomed by his
grandfather, and his father furtively put the red envelope lucky-money to
grandpa’s tin money-box was especially touching.
Here,
Chinese family’s traditional love and indulge children, plus the reverence for
parents and elders subtly played out.
The ethics of prime virtue and the basis of our discipline and teaching
from our parents was the central theme. It was like the whole family is the collective responsibility
of not just parents, but grandparents, son and grandson –all together - I love
it, Shousun.
Not
to say, I already had cultural and generation crash course with my daughter on
the night 1/11/2014 when I got here.
She told me, ‘Mom, I do not think I can do the same filial piety thing
with you as you did with Ah Ma (grandma) while grandma, Daddy and you were
raising me up back in Littleton, Colorado?”
I
know filial piety is something I would like my children and Chinese school
students to some degree exercise.
It’s an expression, which everyone should know, yet it is not a common American
phrase. The subject conveys
universally, likewise, many Americans are very likely to have never heard
of. No wonder she had to look up
on-line Google for its meaning that night. She is not in totally to comprehend its meaning and
significance, how do I expect her to therefore live by such a philosophy? Old
fool!
So,
most importantly, life goes on without any unattended ill effect between us, as
mother, daughter and her son, and my grandson. I placed the symbolic gold-colored wrapped chocolates I
brought from Maryland, and a small token of lucky-money with a white paper note
in Chinese characters – Happy New Year!! (新年快樂!! xīn nián kuài lè!!) – on
the kitchen counter early in the morning – her Chinese Rosetta Stone training
should help her understand. I
hope!
Do
I want my grandson to have that kind of memorable childhood that Eric so
savored fondly still now as a grown-up?
I do not know because Forest is not my son. There is gulf-deep gap between hers and mine and it makes me want to make it better.
The
truth, that I might have unwittingly mold her character to my own ends is a
soul-searching sentiment for me. My
expectation for her to follow the traditional filial piety and all respect
elders stuff displayed in the film for three generation, might be overreaching
and culturally impossible. Yet, my
subtle and thoughtful way to give her some hint and advice regarding the values
of Chinese Culture and her upbringing, hopefully will have some impact for her
own child one day.
Note –
1. The Picasa link has the Chinese New Year tradition of old
Chang’s family eating out, but with the extension of a new family not my own. –
I have to adapt.
2. Scenery link is Highway I-19N back from Rosemead CA,
I-210W – Pasadena, CA and I-34W and I-101 W – Ventura. The Conejo Grade with the curvy incline
still had some burned charred marks on the hillside from May, 2013 brush wild
fire. I had remembered my daughter
called me when she was driving home that day because company evacuated all
employees – too smoky. I myself
had the nervous feeling each time when I drive in that part of the Highway due
to overwhelming view of Oxnard valley coming down from the hill and I am
following the traffic flow of 70 miles per hour! - Scary!
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