Aging Issues - Lecture from a Retirement Community - Laguna Woods Village 2/15/2017

Laguna Woods Village is a well-planned retirement community.  The consistently pleasant weather all year around is boasted as the main attraction for all the retirees.  When I walked with Dr. Kao on the sidewalk every afternoon, I either saw the active retirees on golf carts driving by or the aged neighbors like Dr. and Mrs. Kao walking with walkers and canes.  It's legal to own your personal golf carts and occupy the personal parking spaces in the village.  The paradox of aging hits me deeply.  It's a reality depressing in a way, but we just must fact it. 

Li-Lin, 58 now, their daughter lives in Tucson Arizona, would spend 8-hour drive every month with her husband, Phil English, to tidy up the house and run the errands like I did with them this week.  They bought this retirement house for them without further parents' consultation from Houston, Texas two years ago.  Both Koa's health was gradually slowing down after the stroke and Knee surgery.  I had visited them in 2005 when I had a business trip from Montgomery County Government.  Dr. and Mrs. Kao were already walking with the canes without four-feet attached.

Mrs. Kao invited me to attend her High school - 嘉義女中-65+ reunion the first day when I arrived.  I ran into quite a few people uprooted from Montgomery County, Maryland and of course many many of them were from different parts in US.  It's a small world here in Laguna Woods Village.

I stayed one extra day recommended by Kao's family on Wednesday to attend a lecture by Dr. Peter Huang, 黃勝雄醫生 a former medical advisor to former President Ronald Reagan and a former head of the Department of brain surgery at Saint Francis Hospital in Philadelphia.  He is also a resident in Laguna Woods Village. 

His topic - Memory problems among seniors.  The subject is not new, but we must confront it when I was teaching Dr. Kao how to clean up his Windows 10 Desk Computer every night.  His sipping cognition and slow finger motion forced the mouse's cursor moving constantly hitting other applications by accident on his PC.  It created many applications and opened unknowingly with duplication.  We spent hours to clear off his internal cached web content - reached up to 350 MB of the default internal capacity (350 MB) set up by his son, Albert.  No wonder Dr. Kao was frustrated about not being able to see some of his e-mails or other correspondences.  Anyway, he was happy to re-connect with some of his old friends and relatives via e-mail again.

It's no surprise that this retirement community with housing ranging from the cheap apartments to the expensive lake front properties can attract so many retires, either highly reputable luminaries or any Nobodies to settle here. 

I still love to go back home to Maryland with four season weather cycles.  The all year around pleasant weather and varieties of landscapes in California would not be as entertaining to me.  The freezing temperature does not kill me, it only makes me stronger.  I would like to become a smiling senior with family and friends around me.

Li-Lin and Albert are planning a 60th wedding (diamond) anniversary for Dr. and Mrs. Kao on 6/3/2017.  Of course, I'm invited but still debating about attending or not.  I suggested them for Ben to repair and digitize 50 pictures for them when they flipped the dingy yellow pictures page by page, reminiscing and storytelling, from their old photo albums after our dinner time.  They can use them to show at the ceremony.  All of Kao's family love my idea.

I might come back when I can to visit them one more time before I leave southern California in June.

Life is a Journey not a Destination - Thanks to a life-long family 2/11/2017

Life is a journey, not a destination

I am taking a six days’ break from Westlake Village, CA – daughter & son-in-law’s new home, where I have been on the mission of caring my second grand baby’s birth since November 20, 2016.  The father-in-law from Portland, Oregon came to town to visit his second grand baby and see their new house this week.  My active adventurous spirit is in play.  I figured I should let Hans and father and grandkids have some precious family time together.  I hopped in the car and started an 89 miles’ trip down to southern California, Laguna Woods – a retirement community.  I wanted to pay a personal visit to one family who was my lifelong friend after I left Blacksburg, Virginia from graduate school in 1974.  

My gratitude to one family – Dr. and Mrs. Kao from Lynchburg, Virginia who were so special in my life.  

The story line - I just got my first job in America as a special education teacher at Campbell County Brookville Middle School.  The superintendent, Dr. Oats, shook my hands at the interview panel table and told me after he offered me the job, “Mrs. Chang, congratulation, but, you must visit a Taiwanese family in town, they were the kindest Taiwanese in Lynchburg.”  I left with the anxious mind excited about my first job in America but not thinking about where I should stay.  Little did I know The Kao’s family just took me in with free meal and board without any 2^nd thought.   

My gratitude to them was deep and the friendship extended not only to their children and our children, but to their grandchildren as well.  We never lost contact no matter where we moved.  I was 25 years old, Ben, my husband 28, still in Virginia Tech finishing his PHD then, and they were around 40 years old.  Dr. Kao was also a PHD graduate from VPI and a well-known nuclear engineer at B&W – Babcock & Wilcox Nuclear Reactor.  Like thousands of Chinese graduates who were eventually called the Chinese Americans, made their way by hard work and quiet adaption and assimilation into America’s culture. 

Li-lin, their oldest daughter, the America’s Junior Miss finalist from Virginia was about 18 years old.  We have been keeping close contact forever ever since.  The friendship lasts when she was in town and brought her oldest son, Travis, and my son to play soccer at one time in Eric’s soccer League.  All her three sons were in the US Youth Soccer Olympic Development Team because Phil, her husband was a dedicated volunteer soccer coach.

"Life is a journey, not a destination." I took this trip as I started with intention to express my thanks to them.  I did not want to seek an escape from the reality of me as a grandmother in Westlake Village, CA.   They are all 80+ years old now.  We all have so much stories to share in our lives.  So, I just took them around doing errands – grocery shopping, fixing Mrs. Kao’s cell phone and teaching Dr. & Mrs. Kao the basic and some complex skills about how to use their computers.  Both are still so mentally sharp even though the slow key strokes due to age related dexterity and coordination issues won’t stop them from keeping them on-line connection with their senior friends and relatives everywhere via LINE, SKYPE and of course E-mails daily.  Believe or not, Mrs. Kao received more phone calls from her Smart Phone than I did with my Flip phone.  I learned the terms from AT&T Service Center’s young Wiz kid yesterday when we were there to fix Mrs. Cell phone – Smart Phone.  My Flip phone will probably be in the museum one-day.

We had the best COSTCO Hot-dog and Pizza lunch yesterday while the shoppers looked at us busy wheeling around the four-wheels, walking canes with four prongs and sometime wheel chairs in and out the restroom.  It’s a lot of walking in the big COSTCO showroom.  We tend to take for granted for the simplest walking, in and out of the car and pushing the shopping carts for granted.  It’s a challenge for both.  Dr. Kao had stroke and Mrs. Kao had knee operation in the past. 

I took them to their Sunday church service – Irvine Taiwanese Presbyterian Church and I was warmly invited to stand up to express my sincerest thanks to them among 150+ church goers.

I walked with Dr. Kao around Laguna Wood’s beautiful retirement community every afternoon.  Look at all the blossoming prune flowers and abundant bright-yellow lemon fruits hanging on the tree.  I thought the season was a mixed up to me.  It’s still a winter in East Coast to me.  But, it’s 75 degree in Laguna Woods.  

Oh, well, folks, it’s Valentine’s Day today.  I showed you the group project I made with my grandson, Forest, when his teacher told the parents to prepare and bring 17+ Valentine stuff to school.  We cut with Origami paper last week before I left and I told him to do it with his crayons and stuff them in the envelopes with his grandfather from Portland, Oregon, this week.  

Happy Valentine to you all!  I should be back to Westlake Village on Thursday.

Janice Chang

A temporary live-in care-taker - Grandma's report from Southern California

1/16/2017 – 1/31/2017 – Monthly Report 

Settling in daughter’s new house temporarily as a live-in care-taker  
I have experienced claustrophobia ever since I moved to this beautiful village because I have no Internet connection for 9 days with the world!  Missing all CNN and Tennis – Tennis Channel - Australian Tennis Open!

Yes, we are physically in the new house now!  The moving was smooth from the loading, unloading parts.  Thank goodness, it took two medium size moving trucks (Green Mover), four husky, strong-armed guys, 9 ½ hours (8:00 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.) to put everything from old house to new house - bedding, furniture, grand piano and others….etc.  

I have never worked so hard in the kitchen in my life.  When I see daughter's milk pumping is plentiful, then all the cooking, washing, cleaning and shopping for good food – Organic -  are worth millions!

Physically I am ok besides the Lumbar 4 back pain issue.  Avoiding strenuous picking up the babies (2) is something I must learn.  Emotional ups and downs feelings come and go and it’s quite normal and natural too. 

I understand life is just a series of events and how I cope with it is a work of art.  Beauty and ugliness from my drawings are all relative and you can’t judge if it’s better or worse in aesthetics.    As a practical matter, I think that setting priority to survive in a new environment is critical to me so far.
Start knowing the surrounding areas now from many grocery shopping trips.  Driving down on US 101 and US 23 is part of “Grandma 101 course.” 

Westlake Village is an affluent bedroom community for Los Angeles, surrounding by beautiful mountains – Santa Monica Mountains – and lake.  The Lady’s Face, which I see in front of the living room window feeding the baby every day, is a picture-perfect frame.  I finally know the name from the realtor who dropped by often to take care of after-settlement issues. 

I stopped by City Hall of Westlake Village yesterday as a long-time employee experience from Montgomery County Government to have some general ideas about the city.  I think they made the right move and you know how I was really a stranger in California.  Learning from scratch, ground zero, to explore a new city, having new adventures is part of my survival trainings.

Looks like drying the colorful cloth diapers under the lemon tree will be a thing in the past now. - HOA rule!  I do miss the California sunshine.

Sticker Game Time with grandson, Forest, - backyard

Eric & fiance, Sue joined the family celebrating Daddy's 71-year-old birthday - New House